In this week’s parsha there is the story of Reuven’s behavior following the death of Rachel. The story when read literally paints Reuven in very dark terms. As a matter of fact this story is one of the Biblical stories whose public translation is forbidden by the Mishna (Megilla 25a). This Mishnaic prohibition raises interesting questions about how the Halacha views the proper teaching of history, but that is not what I chose to look at today.

The Torah relates the action of Reuven and then says “…and Yisrael heard, and the sons of Yisrael were twelve.” That’s all. There is no mention of Ya’akov Avinu being angry at Reuven’s effrontery.

The Ralbag says that here we have a valuable lesson in how to control impulsive reactions. The Ralbag is known primarily for his commentary to the Prophets which is published in most editions of Mikraot Gedolot but he is also the author of a commentary to the Torah which has recently been published by Mossad Harav Kook. As he did in his commentary to the Prophets, the Ralbag broke up his commentary to the Torah into two parts. First, there is a running commentary on each chapter. Secondly he lists the lessons which can be learned from the chapter into a separate section at the conclusion of the chapter. He calls these lessons toaliyot.

Here is what the Ralbag writes at the end of this week’s parsha:

The twelfth toelet: It behooves a person not to yield to temptation and to become angry at his oldest son because of his misdeeds. This may drive the son away and he will lose him. Rather, at times such as these, he should bring his son closer in order to provide him with guidance. For this reason it was told that Yisra’el heard of Reuven’s repugnant deed and made no mention that he was angry at him. However, on the day that he made his final remarks to his sons he punished him for this by taking away his rights as the first-born and he gave them to Yosef.

Chazal, who instructed us on how to live our lives, warn us against giving in to anger. The Rambam sums up their advice in the second chapter of Hilchot Deiot (para. 2). The Rambam emphasizes the corrosive effects of anger . Eventually the wrathful person’s life is simply not worth living. Sometimes a person must display anger for a constructive purpose, but in such a situation the person must maintain an inner sense of calm. We must avoid letting the anger take over our inner selves. As the Rambam concludes, while tzaddikim may suffer abuse they never inflict abuse. When they are insulted they do not reply in kind . They serve Hashem out of a sense of love and rejoice when afflicted.

It is interesting to see what the great mystic Rav Moshe Cordovero zt”l says about anger. Rav Moshe Cordovero wrote a book of mussar based on Kabbalistic principles known as Tomer Devora. His ethical system calls upon us to pattern our behavior after Hashem’s attributes of mercy ( to the extent that this is humanly possible). In the second chapter (in the paragraph beginning, “Omnom yadanu…”) the author acknowledges that sometimes merciful behavior is not appropriate and we must display anger. However, Rav Moshe Cordovero tells us that anger must never be displayed on Shabbat and Chagim. On these days Hashem wishes to bestow His grace on us. Our ability to receive this grace is contingent upon our behavior. Clearly a state of anger is not compatible with Hashem’s grace, so anger is to be avoided at all costs on these days. In the next paragraph Rav Moshe Cordovero adds that also, when a person is praying or studying Torah he is in a personal state of grace with Hashem and anger would only be an impediment to these spiritual efforts.

I will end this dvar Torah with another observation of the Ralbag’s. In his introduction to his commentary to the Torah, the Ralbag notes that while the Torah offers regulations on our actions it does not offer explicit guides to our emotional behavior (the Rambam makes a similar observation in the second chapter of his introduction to masechet Avot). As a rule, anger, frivolity and aggression are certainly to be avoided. So why doesn’t the Torah provide us with rules on how to behave? The Ralbag answers that only the rarest of individuals can always control their emotions. Should there be absolute mitzvot on how to control and express our emotions then the vast majority of us would be sinners. And then, our frustration with these “emotional” mitzvot would lead us to abandon all mitzvot.

To avoid this catastrophe Hashem organized the material composing the Torah into commands and stories. The commands are obligatory. Then there are the stories. The stories are presented for us to see what sort of behavior we should be trying to copy and what behavior we should avoid. The fact that the Torah does not forbid anger does not mean we can throw tantrums. We are expected to study the stories which appear in the Torah and to do our best to behave as the Avot and Imahot did.