Why did Joseph not send a message home?

Rashi, the premier Torah commentator, explains at verse 8 that the brothers did not recognise Joseph because he now had a beard (see Talmud, Tracate Ketubot 27b). Joseph however did recognise them.

The verb vayizkor, and he remembered, seems to have a feeling of history or destiny about it. Rashi notes that this phrase means that Joseph understood that his current episode with his brothers, when they bowed to him actually showed that the dreams were being fulfilled. His remembering was a kind of realisation about a process.

Ramban demurs. This is not the realisation of the dreams. One important person is missing – Benjamin. He must also be present to complete the 11 brothers bowing down. Therefore Joseph understands that he must engineer Benjamin’s journey to Egypt. Joseph, understanding that the dreams were a portent of a Divine plan, knew that he had to work according to the plan and therefore could not reveal himself and bring his father Jacob to Egypt before the plan had taken its course.

If this was not the case, then Joseph would have been guilty of causing his father great and prolonged pain, over the loss of Joseph and the incarceration of Shimon. Even if he had wanted to make his brothers sweat a little, he could not have acted inappropriately towards his father.

Joseph also realised that his dreams and the dreams of Pharaoh which he interpreted had to be fulfilled in Egypt.

For all of these reasons, Joseph reckoned that he had to let the plan unfold thus explaining why he did not write home. This passive approach may appear surprising, especially when Joseph becomes more activist but Joseph felt it was the correct way to proceed despite the questions that arise from this explanation.

Happy Chanukah.